ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize