The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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