your room smells of hookers.
And success
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
