woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
