You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Randomize
