I accidentally had phone sex last night
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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