i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
