i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
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