i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
