Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Randomize