You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Randomize
