I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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