We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
