They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
