break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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