She's JV to your varsity
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
