no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
