I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
