my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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