I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
