____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Tornado booty call.. dedication
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize