i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
