Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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