Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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