Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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