ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
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