he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Randomize
