I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Randomize
