i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
