Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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