puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
So apparently I’m into choking now
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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