ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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