We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
my phone needs a breathalizer
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
