I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
