I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
