This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
We have started to decorate penises.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Randomize
