I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
