I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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