the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
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