who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
He kissed a someone with a penis
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
