Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
