New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
