Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
