i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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