What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
i was born a porn star she said
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
