I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
No more Irish car bombs ever.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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