My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
