we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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