At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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