Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize