just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I woke up under a house in Key West
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
