turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
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