ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
