You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
