"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
