it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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