So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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