I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
please come you make the beer taste better
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
