I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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