sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
My balls are so social today.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
