chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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