So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
