Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Randomize
