Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
vagina is talking i cant
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
