We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
